> Large parts of America have chosen forms of development that are naturally isolating: It's no surprise so many feel isolated!
Indeed - I have relatives that live in a place like this. Nice homes, etc but few trees, no sidewalks, and nowhere to walk. Why would you other than exercise? And a lot of people like it this way and that's fine. They want privacy and aren't interested in building relationships with people they live near. That's fine.
But if you want a sense of community then you need to live in a place that encourages walking by making it useful.
During the 1930s and 1940s very little was built. And what was built was seldomly maintained. So after the war there were a lot of people living in old, outdated, cramped, and expensive apartments and tenements in cities.
Suddenly materials were plentiful and there was a lot of available land. The economics of it were such that you could get a car and a home outside the city for less than an apartment inside. And the living conditions were so much better. People still had their bigger families and community bond in their new neighborhoods.
But over time that was lost and we were left with the isolated towns that need a car to get anywhere and there’s no community connection as the new development doubled down on bigger houses, bigger lots, more cars.
I live in an old pre-war town. Most every home was built before 1930 and most around the turn of the century. Lots of walkable shops and a train runs through. There are many old towns like this and they’re wonderful. They also tend to be expensive nowadays.
Now I live in the city and with so many more people around I see people I know so much more often. It really makes you understand how isolating the suburbs can become.
Over the summer, however, I spend time in Spain. A town with a population under 200k, and yet far more dense than San Francisco. Streets are narrower, and most errands are less than 10 minutes away, on foot. The pharmacist, the baker, the workers at the restaurant, don't change very much. Since everyone walks, you really get to pass by every neighbor in the building every couple of weeks. The parks and playing ares with children are never close to empty, and people tend to have routines, so it's far easier to get to know people from random interactions. It's not uncommon to meet people you know, completely by accident, just because you walk the same streets. I might not stop at a certain coffee shop, but it has seating outside, and friends are be sitting there, and therefore I get a chance social encounter, even when I am not visiting the same business. There's benches in random streets, and people meet there, and chat on the street, so you don't even need a business as a "third place", when you have the street. Thus, getting six non-work social interactions a day becomes trivial.
Large parts of America have chosen forms of development that are naturally isolating: It's no surprise so many feel isolated!