Re:Everyone Is Beautiful and No One Is Horny
by wolverine876 on Saturday August 05, 2023 @04:46AM
(#37010206)
IMHO: The difficulty - as with most things - is in the questions and in the perspective which forms them. A healthy relationship is not about 19 year old beauty or being lucky to fuck them. It's not about objectifying them as bonuses in my life.
It is about seeing them for who they are - completely independently of me - and caring for that person, whether or not they suit me at that particular time - richer or poorer, sickness and health, etc. We need to have that compassion for others; we need others to care for us in that way; we love other people. Lovemaking is, to varying degrees at different times, an outgrowth of that - IMHO lovemaking won't last otherwise.
> Can I find someone that doesn't just say "wtf am I doing here" if times get tough for health or financial or just plain old age? I'm not sure.
IME, the answer depends on me more than on them. When Sinead O'Connor died, I listened to some songs and (while the singing is impressive) I thought the perspective is immature: The narrator makes it all about what the other person is doing; someone with experience in healty relationships realizes it's about what they themself does and perceives and feels. We get what we give.
> I think it's human nature
I wish I could ban these stylishly defeatist comments. Human nature is to hunt and gather food, be illiterate and ignorant, and die at (30?) - if you survive past childhood. Human nature really is to learn and chose your own behavior and fate.
It is about seeing them for who they are - completely independently of me - and caring for that person, whether or not they suit me at that particular time - richer or poorer, sickness and health, etc. We need to have that compassion for others; we need others to care for us in that way; we love other people. Lovemaking is, to varying degrees at different times, an outgrowth of that - IMHO lovemaking won't last otherwise.
> Can I find someone that doesn't just say "wtf am I doing here" if times get tough for health or financial or just plain old age? I'm not sure.
IME, the answer depends on me more than on them. When Sinead O'Connor died, I listened to some songs and (while the singing is impressive) I thought the perspective is immature: The narrator makes it all about what the other person is doing; someone with experience in healty relationships realizes it's about what they themself does and perceives and feels. We get what we give.
> I think it's human nature
I wish I could ban these stylishly defeatist comments. Human nature is to hunt and gather food, be illiterate and ignorant, and die at (30?) - if you survive past childhood. Human nature really is to learn and chose your own behavior and fate.