>You've been selected because you earn $X, you're stable, you're capable, and you get along well

Is that a bad thing over "oh she thinks I'm hot"? Like you said, youth is fleeting and I can't be hot forever (in this alternate timeline where I'm considered attractive).

Besides, these aren't mutually exclusive. Are you just worried your spouse will cheat on you with a 20 year old? That has bigger red flags for you and the spouse than any rational choice.