> The thing is: I couldn't care less about their culture. I'm well past the stage of caring whether a company values X or Y or Z.

It doesn’t sound like you’re flexible. You’re pretty set in your ways about disliking every company’s culture and acting like you can mold yourself to be who they want. What if they don’t want people who have to mold themselves to be X, Y, or Z?

Hard to imagine anybody less flexible and easygoing than that.

> ("You have no personal preferences? Weird")

I wouldn’t worry about this too much. Easygoing people who are productive and efficient usually have a lot of trouble coming up with people willing to be references for them.