News for hackers. Stuff that matters.
Re:I feel hopeless, rejected, and a burden on society-one we... by HWR_14 on Sunday July 30, 2023 @11:41PM (#36938587)
Can you not get some trusted 3rd party (I assume a lawyer or accountant is the professional option) to limit you. Legally prevent you, for instance, from spending X (or borrowing money) on a car?
Re:I feel hopeless, rejected, and a burden on society-one we... by kayodelycaon on Monday July 31, 2023 @09:00AM (#36941911)
I knew someone would suggest that. :)

It’s a really bad idea. I’m perfectly willing and highly motivated to destroy relationships to get that money. Think heroin addict.

Instead, I save around 25% of every paycheck on top of retirement plans. This gives me a large buffer against episodes. It’s also split across multiple banks. I only use a single account and the others sit for months without a transaction. I don’t have checks or high limit cards for the others to delay access to their full amount. This is exactly the right amount of friction to keep them safe. It’s there, it’s mine, it can be available if I can wait a day. I can’t wait a day.

The results speak for themselves:

1. My credit score is over 800

2. My only loans are a house and car.

3. I’ve never failed to pay my credit card off in full each month.

As a side note, people see this and think I’m not that bad. They are wrong. Very wrong. I am simply extremely good at masking and compensating.

According to my psychiatrist, I’m a fairly severe case despite being easy to treat.

Re:I feel hopeless, rejected, and a burden on society-one we... by HWR_14 on Monday July 31, 2023 @12:59PM (#36945549)
I understand the benefit of preventing future you from fucking up your life. I'm glad you found a solution with the right amount of friction.

And, I'm sorry to repeat myself, but isn't it possible that you go to a third party professional (e.g. a lawyer) which you can melt down and it would be fine because it would be legally enforced. Or would the resentment build and you would just buy a second car (or house!) as soon as you are free of their strictures. Sure, you destroy the relationship, but there are more lawyers for the next time.

Once again, congrats on having a solution!

Re:I feel hopeless, rejected, and a burden on society-one we... by kayodelycaon on Monday July 31, 2023 @08:13PM (#36950666)
I have no energy to spare to set it up, much less maintain that solution.

Each step of the process requires significant activation energy and unless I finish every step with no delays, it will not be restarted for months.

My brain is incredibly unreliable. There are very few things I can force myself to do. Unless a routine task is more important than work or my twice a month D&D game, it won’t be done on time, if it gets done at all.

That includes cooking, showering, housework, car maintenance, etc. Reminders for these things will be ignored. Todo lists will be ignored.

Re:I feel hopeless, rejected, and a burden on society-one we... by HWR_14 on Tuesday August 01, 2023 @01:43AM (#36952751)
Can I ask how you described the situation to a therapist? And how long did it take you to get up the energy to go to one?