I’m actually impressed.
Call me in 20 years, maybe you’ll have learned something.
Assuming people are assholes, and blaming them for situations is just run of the mill toxic. Working through side-channels rather than addressing a problem is also run of the mill toxic.
Just because Joe or Judy "feels" a certain way doesn't mean it should actually have bearing on anything. Really...
Enough placating those with the least logic and self control.
People's feeling matter in the long term, because it's the difference between them wanting to work with you, and them being forced to work with you. If I had to pick between a genius coder with awful people skills, and an average coder with exceptional skills, I'd essentially always pick the average one.
Do you not see the difference?
Well that's absolutely not the place for it.
If your little fee fees get hurt you keep it to yourself and focus on the task at hand. Then after the task is complete you either pull the offender aside to address the problem or you bring it to a superior to be addressed. It in no way should have any bearing on the work at hand.
This is basics of work place decorum, right?
Having good meeting culture requires everyone involved to improve it. If you want meetings to be better, set them up, add an agenda and objectives, and run the meeting so that it's effective. If you can't run the meeting, if it doesn't have an agenda or objectives, ask the person who created it for them. Ask for action items at the end of the meeting, if no one is calling for them. If it's mostly status meetings, propose a better process to track and communicate status.
If you're working through side channels, you're part of the problem.
Calling people assholes, rather than improving the situation, is an indicator of inexperience.