The PS3 controller was indeed uncomfortable, but for the past two generations the two competing consoles are on par. Some find one more comfortable, others the other.
Ultimately they’re both very good, which is a big improvement over previous generations.
If you have big hands it can be a lot more comfortable to instead kind of wrap your fingers around the grips but not make contact with your palms (kind of like it's a SNES controller with some extra finger grips). I don't know if this is the intended way to do it, but it feels good to me.
It's how I've pretty much always held them...
It feels like only a monkey would full palm them...
My ideal controller would be the PS4 shape and layout, but with the dpad and triggers from the Xbox one/series controller (the PS5 haptic feedback is nice, but hardly any games I play actually use it effectively, and I like the shape of the Xbox triggers more).
Do you use both sticks at the same time? I think most games are left stick + buttons, meaning the Xbox would not only be symmetrical but also allow for a more relaxed extended thumb instead of the lower down ps position