Re:Ignoring Boys' Emotional Needs Fuels Public Health Risks
by wincy on Sunday June 25, 2023 @10:23PM
(#36474994)
Please, do tell, what does accepting my father entail for me?
Because I’m not the one that raped his nine year old daughter over and over and then lied to his brothers about it, then finally fessed up right before they tried to hire a hitman to kill the mother of his children.
I’m not the man who, when his estranged adult son finally got up the courage to come over and demand answers in the vain hope that maybe he could grow and learn from a contrite man, instead answered “your sister was the one who started it, she was asking for it”.
I am, in fact, the son of said man. I have two daughters. How exactly do I learn to be an example? Because the clear bar to meet, set by my forebears is “don’t abandon your kids and don’t rape your girls and great job! Gold Star! Dad of the year! Oh and I mean, if shit goes sideways, just abandon those losers and start another family, it’ll be fine!”
How can I not be a little wary of the depths of darkness to which the male soul can go? I don’t hate all men but I am very, very wary. Men can be absolutely the most depraved and terrifying brutes. Satan himself would gasp at the things men can come up with to indulge their sick pleasures and perversions.
There are a lot of grievances that are very very real. We shouldn’t deny them. I personally suspect girls are put at a much higher risk of abuse when they have a stepfather vs their biological father. I would never put my girls in a situation where they’d be in the company of a man that isn’t closely related to them and vetted (a la grandpa didn’t abuse my sisters so he’s okay). Sleepovers are absolutely not allowed. But these are the sorts of things that will get you in a lot of trouble to say in polite society. I don’t care. I just want my daughters to grow up without any men laying their hands on them.
Anyway I’ve spent enough time writing and rewriting this. I’m going to read my kid a story. I hope maybe this changes your mind in some way that is productive. I definitely think boys should be raised differently than however the hell my dad was raised.
Because I’m not the one that raped his nine year old daughter over and over and then lied to his brothers about it, then finally fessed up right before they tried to hire a hitman to kill the mother of his children.
I’m not the man who, when his estranged adult son finally got up the courage to come over and demand answers in the vain hope that maybe he could grow and learn from a contrite man, instead answered “your sister was the one who started it, she was asking for it”.
I am, in fact, the son of said man. I have two daughters. How exactly do I learn to be an example? Because the clear bar to meet, set by my forebears is “don’t abandon your kids and don’t rape your girls and great job! Gold Star! Dad of the year! Oh and I mean, if shit goes sideways, just abandon those losers and start another family, it’ll be fine!”
How can I not be a little wary of the depths of darkness to which the male soul can go? I don’t hate all men but I am very, very wary. Men can be absolutely the most depraved and terrifying brutes. Satan himself would gasp at the things men can come up with to indulge their sick pleasures and perversions.
There are a lot of grievances that are very very real. We shouldn’t deny them. I personally suspect girls are put at a much higher risk of abuse when they have a stepfather vs their biological father. I would never put my girls in a situation where they’d be in the company of a man that isn’t closely related to them and vetted (a la grandpa didn’t abuse my sisters so he’s okay). Sleepovers are absolutely not allowed. But these are the sorts of things that will get you in a lot of trouble to say in polite society. I don’t care. I just want my daughters to grow up without any men laying their hands on them.
Anyway I’ve spent enough time writing and rewriting this. I’m going to read my kid a story. I hope maybe this changes your mind in some way that is productive. I definitely think boys should be raised differently than however the hell my dad was raised.