You are right and your son is also right. As a father of sons I share your concerns and I hope that I'm able to give them the capability to withstand that peer pressure. I've been - and still am - subject to this on account of not drinking alcohol, smoking or using drugs. To the point that it becomes ridiculous ('don't be boring'). This has been a recurring thing since my teenage years and I really don't get why people feel the need to pressure others into joining them in their stupidity. Just like I don't push them to behave like I do.

But it's been tough, on occasion and I can see the point that your son makes, and I hope with you that if that day comes that he will remember it. FWIW you can tell him this internet stranger agrees with his dad and that peer pressure can be overcome.

> A few weeks ago there was a tragic caving accident at a local school here where a boy drowned when the outdoor adventure group entered the caves even as flood waters were rising from a storm.

That's awful, and if there's one thing that I learned from Thai cave rescue a few years ago (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tham_Luang_cave_rescue) it's that you never want to go swimming in caves when it might start raining.

I write about the propensity of adolescents worldwide to take unreasonable risks in here:

https://albertcory50.substack.com/p/how-about-not-overcoming...

it isn't just Americans or even First Worlders. In some cultures they're not able to do it, but they all want to. And it's -- guess what? -- peer pressure that makes them do it. Brain scans show that they recognize the danger as well as adults do, but they're more susceptible to the peer pressure.

It's ok to be afraid. No one had to go down to 12,500 feet to see the Titanic.

A father at least got it, flat out refusing to send his son on that trip, he survived.

https://i.stuff.co.nz/national/132006337/dad-who-stopped-son...

Yep, a helicopter pilot used to doing real risk assessments.

Resisting peer pressure is a life long skill, eventually it just merges with one’s sense of ethics and duty.

Are you in Whangarei? The incident at the Abbey caves was really so tragic and preventable. I still don't get what went through the teachers heads, it's to rainy to go rock climbing, so we go caving instead?!

Yep, I hope some solid information about their risk assessment process comes out.