Re:How to Do the Thing You've Been Avoiding
by comboy on Thursday June 22, 2023 @05:20AM
(#36429723)
Seems like you want to avoid calls if possible. If not then to me it helps to think in packages. So there is no "I need to make a phonecall". There's option A - "I make a phonecall and the then I have this" or "I don't make a phonecall and there are those consequences". What's the key to me here is that both options are perfectly fine. I.e. "suffering + some reward" or "no suffering and no reward". Or sometimes both options require some suffering. That is not a problem though, that is life.
But suffering is really something different without anxiety. If it's unavoidable anyway there's a peace about it.
And I'm sorry if I come off as an armchair diagnostician, I have no clue about your life obviously, it's just that this kind of thinking made such a big difference to me that it feels bad not sharing it.
Re:How to Do the Thing You've Been Avoiding
by noduerme on Thursday June 22, 2023 @05:38AM
(#36429818)
no, I think it's quite interesting to diagnose this from a code point of view... this is why it really sucks that I have literally no one in my life who writes code or understands my job (or can chop things up into logical if/else statements like this ;) I probably should look at my own messy internal call stack from this pov a bit more often.
My best friend as a kid was raised in Zen Buddhism and we learned to code together. This is the kind of way he would look at it. So I appreciate it.
That's not my specific problem with phone calls. Phone calls always open up a Pandora's box of more problems. Perhaps if you feel like armchair diagnosing this: I clean my house almost obsessively every day; my desktop has only two text files on it called "Immediate" and "Todo"; my inbox is always cleaned out by 5 or 6pm before I let myself relax. Then I go get fucking wasted and make new friends and end up drinking in parking lots.
But I can't call the fucking tree guy or the mechanic or the accountant. It's not the conversation I'm worried about. It's that I know there will be one new thing on the list.
When the list is cleared, I will be free. I will take my clothes off and walk naked to the airport.
[edit] I just want to clarify: I do think that I'm good at life in my own peculiar way. Just not "good at life" as most people would define it ;)