And an even more difficult time accepting that people will hate them for it regardless of their intentions. After all it's all to easy to lie about having good intentions, even to yourself.

We're evolutionarily hard wired to do what's best for ourselves, which often includes being altruistic to gain more social acceptance. That's why being "lonely" is a problem at all, we feel emotional pain to get us to work with the group, since that's what's always meant longer survival.