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Re:A complete guide to getting what you want by inconceivable on Sunday June 18, 2023 @03:26PM (#36383500)
9. never tell women you are working on this stuff actively.

"just so you know, i'm working on not being a needy dork that texts you 24/7. i hope to be more attractive to you by working on my ability to make decisions for myself without being devastated when someone tells me their opinion of me. do you like me more now? how about now? how about now?"

Re:A complete guide to getting what you want by habinero on Sunday June 18, 2023 @09:37PM (#36386342)
No, trying to better yourself is fine.

Following that advice isn't bettering yourself, you're essentially just doing the human version of SEO.

You aren't becoming a better or kinder or more interesting person, nor are you working on your ability to make real human connections with others.

And a lot of you will say, so what? If it gets me a girlfriend, what does it matter?

These are the dudes who get dumped or divorced and never see it coming, because they never bothered to learn how to relate to people.

Re:A complete guide to getting what you want by inconceivable on Monday June 19, 2023 @12:15AM (#36387271)
> These are the dudes who get dumped or divorced and never see it coming

no, i do believe you have it exactly backwards.

you're also just making up straw man arguments like "can't connect with people". i didn't even mention that, or hobbies, or charity, or anything. pure fiction in your mind.

you see a post about 'self improvement' and your mind just fills in the blanks with your own assumptions. you probably didn't actually read half the post.

Re:A complete guide to getting what you want by habinero on Monday June 19, 2023 @01:36AM (#36387648)
Oh, I read it. I'm commenting on what you chose to emphasize and what you left out, because that speaks volumes about what you value.

Almost all of the advice was around superficial, self-centered things.

All of it was about you getting something you want, and none of it was about being a net positive in someone else's life.

It comes off as cold and selfish.

Re:A complete guide to getting what you want by inconceivable on Monday June 19, 2023 @03:32AM (#36388312)
the people who need this kind of advice are pushovers and constantly give of themselves to others, only to be taken advantage of. they're Nice Guys. as in they're too nice. maybe it's because they expect reciprocation, maybe because all they have to offer is niceness. maybe they're just naive.

who do you think needs advice to be more ASSERTIVE? people who are already assholes? think about what you're saying for like 2 fucking seconds.

these points are the areas they _ARE DEFICIENT IN_. again, straw man, poor reading comprehension with a lack of context to who the intended audience is meant to be, and mental fictions.

telling a mentally broken or underdeveloped Nice Guy that they need to be more selfless is a crock of shit, it's dishonest, and it's cruel. please be more aware of reality.

fwiw the comment has a lot of upvotes.

Re:A complete guide to getting what you want by habinero on Tuesday June 20, 2023 @04:14PM (#36409845)
If you want to do them, fine. But they're not going to make you successful at relationships, because everything about them has to do with you.