No offense, but I'd rather leave any advice related to medication to a doctor, albeit one that you trust. While SSRIs (and SNRIs) do tend to make symptoms worse, this is typically just during the onboarding period and lasts 2-6 weeks before the actual relief comes. This is also why a lot of people don't stick with them. Just to throw my personal anecdote, I was on Zoloft for years and the onboarding period sucked, but I eventually found relief after about 4 weeks that nothing had or has come close to, including seeing a psychologist weekly and CBT. The only reason I'm not currently on it is because I'm on a scholarship for a graduate program, which forbids working and my stipend doesn't cover a good enough insurance plan for me to afford seeing a psychiatrist and medication on top of rent and necessities.
I can't speak for benzodiazepines or other psychotropics.
Suicidal ideation remaining intact on SSRIs is definitely not universally true. I can say, thankfully, that my suicidal ideation was reduced after a few weeks and then gone after a few months. It didn't just improve my lack of motivation, but also reduced my negative thoughts and emotions.
I will say, however, that it also dulled my positive emotions. I'm more inclined to believe that this "zombificafion" is closer to being universally true of SSRIs than suicidal ideation remaining intact, based upon my own experience as well as the reported experiences of others. I used to be part of a clinical neuroimaging lab that studied depression and anxiety. While I didn't do any research on medication or even treatment, I have clinically interviewed a lot of participants that suffer from depression and medications/effects were a major focus point of those interviews.
So, I personally feel confident in saying that the effects of SSRIs vary greatly between people and that different SSRIs can affect the same person differently. It's also why I would rather rely on a psychiatrist (that I trust) who I can routinely report the effects to and tailor my treatment rather than some person on the internet telling me to just stop.
But aren't therapists the one peddling these drugs to their patients? You say see a therapist and then say avoid the drugs they peddle? What your local street drug dealer is to the drug cartels is what your therapist is to big pharma.
Also, is there any data or evidence that therapists help? Are we sure they don't make things worse?
Finding a therapist is very very hard for most people - this is not your go-to when suicidal, this is something to prepare ahead of time.
SSRI's can cause suicidal thoughts in some people, but in the vast vast majority they eliminate them.
Those suicide hotlines are there to have someone to talk to, that's it. True they are not as good as a therapist, but they are better than nothing - and they give good advice.
The part about hospitalizations is troublesome because yes, they are incredibly invasive, and can really mess with people - but also there isn't really anything else we have available, mental health is not easily managed.
First of all, find a therapist. You need a therapist, one you can trust, one you can see on the regular, every week or so if you're that acute. Try to do it in person. Furthermore, identiy and expand your support network. Family and friends, anyone who is safe for you to contact. Hopefully you have at least one person who is willing to do you a solid. Have an emergency contact. Give them your deets, so in case you are incarcerated, you have someone on the outside who will do legwork for you and advocate for you.
Second, get off your drugs. SSRIs and benzos and other psychotropic medications have serious side effects that will cause you to have suicidal and homicidal ideations. The drugs cause the symptoms they purport to relieve. Get off the drugs, carefully and slowly, because they have withdrawal symptoms.
Never call a "suicide hotline" or the 998 "mental health hotline". Just never do it. It's counter-productive. They don't know you like a therapist does. There's not much they can do to talk you down from the ledge. You will simply end up incarcerated and drugged and isolated from your support network, especially you'll miss your therapist appointments. That's not good. The trauma you can undergo while "hospitalized" is really bad for your self-esteem and morale, so if you are actually suicidal, it will strengthen your resolve and determination to get it over with.
If you are incarcerated, it's important to play along. Don't struggle or protest. Just do what they tell you and pretend you're having a good time. This is the only way to get released in a timely fashion and get your life back. But let's review: don't call no hotline to begin with and you probably won't get incarcerated. Good luck.