I lived in the bay area for years, in the city, in Oakland and in Moutain View for a year. I agree the south bay is less chaotic than SF. It's still a lot more chaotic than either Colorado (where I was born) or Taiwan, where I've spent most my life. To me, the US west coast was always a sacrifice of quality of life for career growth.

If you need a combo code to enter the bathroom at your local coffee shop, you might want to consider moving somewhere with a bit higher baseline for public spaces.