This is a very good essay. I don’t understand the assertion about the “this is a path predominantly used by women”, if that led to the necessary epiphany, great.

I remember being impressed the people who were good at snark: clever sarcastic quips that were funny with a germ of truth in them. I was sorry I wasn’t so quick on my feet (tongue) but participated.

And then somehow, one day, I realized that yes, people liked the humor, but often weren’t close to those folks, because maybe the quips could be aimed at them. And luckily that happened when I was young enough to drop it. There are other ways to be smart.