I’m surprised that Kölsch is top-fermenting as I (a Dutch beer noob) would describe Kölsch as “like a regular lager, but then really nice and in a long drink glass”.

Love it, I’m all confused

And that’s kind of the point of Kölsch.

A lot of home brewers who don’t want to mess about with temperature controlling bottom fermentation go for a top fermenting Kölsch yeast to achieve the same effect.