> As to whether "Software engineering" is a real thing, well in one hand most of it isn't very process-oriented,

Part of the reason for that is the cost of iteration is much lower. So software engineers can afford having less rigorous process. And the tooling is getting better, with formal specification languages, type systems and static analyzer.

Rapid prototyping, microcontrollers and simulation tools brought some of the same possibilities in mechanical & electrical engineering. Even the traditionally very conservative space industry is embracing faster iteration cycles (at least, SpaceX is).

"Software on a microcontroller isn't engineering, it's just coding, but replace said software by TTL chips and PROMs and suddenly it's EE".