Re:I’ve been single all my life
by DoreenMichele on Wednesday April 12, 2023 @10:53PM
(#35550307)
I knew someone with a very high IQ who was an extrovert and became an introvert after an abusive middle school experience.
I also know of a case of a bright child who consciously chose to stop playing to the crowd after they started school because it didn't go good places.
People act like extroversion and introversion are some kind of hard wired internal set point and seem oblivious to the myriad ways humans get taught to be one thing or another and that some people change in reaction to outside influences.
My completely unscientific experience (n=1) of having a major mental health breakthrough and “becoming” and extrovert after years testing as an introvert tells me a few things.
1. For a variety of reasons, some people have extreme difficulty making mutually supportive connections and/or have no service familial attachments
2. There are compensating structures in the form of small safe groups that are lower risk or share a common yet outsider connection (obscure music, complex systems, historical or obsolete collections etc…) that lend themselves to a different “pace.”
3. In some cases, a combination of factors, mental health issues, lifestyle and life issues etc… mask a self love that can represent as something shameful in being expressive and thus after perceived or real rejection or failure many people just give up trying to put the effort in and become comfortable in that lifestyle.
That’s in the best case however, and assumes you can find an affinity group. Unfortunately it’s getting harder to get people together cause everyone’s just trying to survive they don’t feel like they have time to spend building community.