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A comment on Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth?.

Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by 35208654 on Thursday April 06, 2023 @08:48PM (#35476652)
There’s a hack hidden in this message, one that I’ve built an entire career out of: learn to not take anything personally in a professional context unless you absolutely must. Several times in my career I have heard someone say, “stay away from so-and-so, he’s an asshole.” And every time, literally every time, I have gotten along with them famously. Why? Because I discovered that that I could use the message these individuals couldn’t deliver (because they did not take the advice of Agile Otter linked here) and take it to the right people, with the right tone and the right context, and get shit done. Shit that these people had been trying for months to quarters to get done.
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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by lliamander on Thursday April 06, 2023 @09:06PM (#35476778)
My experience is the same. In an industry allegedly full of (so-called) assholes, you would think it would be a more obvious strategy.

I'm also wary of complaints that someone isn't being sufficiently tactful in their communication: more than once it has been clear to me that tact was not the problem, but rather that the listener didn't like what they were hearing.

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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by maroonblazer on Thursday April 06, 2023 @09:01PM (#35476740)
With you. This is Agreement #2 of Ruiz' Four Agreements[0].

1. Be impeccable with your word.

2. Don't take anything personally.

3. Don't make assumptions.

4. Always do your best.

It's as close to the best 'blueprint' for living I've found.

[0]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Agreements

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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by 69Represente on Thursday April 06, 2023 @09:06PM (#35476777)
how do you become inpeccable with your words?
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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by robotresearcher on Thursday April 06, 2023 @09:08PM (#35476792)
Word, not words. As in ‘I give you my word’.

It means you tell the truth, and if you make a commitment, you stick to it.

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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by atoav on Friday April 07, 2023 @02:36AM (#35478785)
* * *
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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by pixl97 on Friday April 07, 2023 @08:51AM (#35481072)
With non technical people I find explanation by analogy one of the best ways, but it works best when you understand who the person you're trying to explain to is. That typically means you have to listen to, and be willing to learn about that other person.
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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by eyelidlessness on Thursday April 06, 2023 @08:50PM (#35476682)
Can I clone you?
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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by SAI_Peregrinus on Thursday April 06, 2023 @09:58PM (#35477106)
It's the social version of The Robustness Principle/Postel's Law[1]. Be careful about how you communicate (and how your communication can be interpreted), be accepting about how others communicate.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robustness_principle

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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by low_tech_love on Friday April 07, 2023 @03:31AM (#35479106)
I understand the good will of the person trying to warn you, and in my experience they are sometimes right, but it’s almost uniformly random. My thought is always “no worries, I can handle an asshole if I must”.
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Re:Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? by acuozzo on Friday April 07, 2023 @09:39AM (#35481454)
It's because you have one of these installed: https://www.mit.edu/~jcb/tact.html
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