I think the UK levels of spice are much lower than the US having been both places. Throw the pineapple chutney that I had at an Indian restaurant Bombay style in London plus summer was quite warm and delicious.

> This is my problem with a lot of spiciness advertising around me (in America).

It might just be a thing around here, but a lot of Indian or Thai restaurants have two separate heat scales, the 'normal' one, and the Indian or Thai one. One of the Thai restaurants that I used to frequent, for example, had a scale where 'spicy' was the same as 'Thai mild' and 'Thai spicy' would genuinely make your hair stand on end.

It takes so much buy in to get them to take you seriously on spice sometimes.

I don't blame them, and partially thank them. Far too many people are way too cavalier with ordering the spiciest dish and then blaming the restaurant for the dish not tasting good. Its also a lot easier to up the spice level on a dish than lower it. A curry that isn't spicy enough can be made spicier; A curry that is too spicy likely cannot be made milder.