> Do folks realize that walking somewhere in a city is like running a gauntlet to some of the population?

Which is more of a reason to have more people walk: the more people in area going hither and thither the less isolated and vulnerable a person will feel.

People often feel most vulnerable when they feel isolated, which is what happens on a lifeless street. If a street has a sidewalk cafes, bars, restaurants, and people waiting in lines to get into clubs, then there is a feeling of community.

This /\

My wife and I a couple years back moved to the very edge of the suburbs. Like, across the street is forest preserves, and behind us is a river. We have only spoken with fewer than 10 neighbors since we moved in 2 years ago.

Her, and her sisters all talk about it being like a "serial killer neighborhood". Even my fishing buddy nextdoor sort of rolls his eyes about how his wife says similar things sometimes.

But I tell my fishing buddy: You'll never understand how vulnerable women feel. Ever. Honestly, being afraid of a place where nobody is around is statistically safer - people don't lock their doors in my neighborhood. I've started also not locking doors. It's that kind of place. That has been a point of friction for my wife and I too - I have been really diligent prior to this, because I always lived in really populous areas.

My wife, thankfully, has never been a victim of any kind of violence. But she has had experiences where she avoided that. Once time some big guy late at night followed her into her apartment building asking to use her phone to call for a tow truck or some nonsense. She knew it was BS, but gave it to him anyways. He ran away.

Men will never be able to understand how vulnerable women feel. We simply do not experience the world in the same way. I'll give another example to help anyone still reading get it: I once went to a haunted house (the Rob Zombie one in Chicagoland) with my buddy and his wife. Probably 10 times, actors working there tried to jump-scare her, and not me or my buddy. Every goddamned time. Whether she was in front, or behind, or between us. She does not scare easily, so she was just really annoyed. Predatory men see women as easy victims in ways they do not other men.

> females

They prefer "women", just FYI.

> Honestly, being afraid of a place where nobody is around is statistically safer - people don't lock their doors in my neighborhood.

I live a city and neither do I, at least during the day. Only when I go to sleep I try to remember to check it to make sure it's locked.

And cities are often measured to be safer than suburbs:

* https://science.time.com/2013/07/23/in-town-versus-country-i...

* https://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/ny-oped-your-children-ar...

* https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/article/130724-su...

There's no slam dunk case for either.

I have a Yale lock that locks automatically after 5 minutes. This is important because we have unhoused neighbors who will occasional door check our home and you don’t want to wake up in the morning to find someone sleeping in your living room.

>> females >They prefer "women", just FYI.

Ouch! That bit ruined a good read.

Go watch videos of the crazy stuff that happens on NYC subways and get back to me.

As a man I don’t like the perception that I’m under suspicion of being a threat to half the population. And I shouldn’t be. The vast majority of violence against women is perpetuated by men they know, not strangers [1].

Domestic violence is not a reason why our cities should be filled with 1-ton death machines that spew soot, carbon monoxide, and nitrous oxide. Cars don’t solve that problem.

[1] https://www.reuters.com/world/us/americas-deadly-epidemic-vi...

The potential downside for a woman who misjudges a dangerous man is far more severe than the potential downside for a man who is misjudged as dangerous by a woman.