Can you substantiate that claim for after cold war debacle? There was a period and not a short one, where relations with Russia were a lot warmer and gave some hope for less crazy future.
And yes, the Age of Aquarius was remarkably short and I found it severely lacking.
Maybe the right question becomes: how would you define a proxy war then? I think our disagreement lies in a definition of a concept.
There is spy-vs-spy for getting information and there's spy-vs-spy with the intention of blocking the other country's interests. The first can be seen as merely defensive while the other is a bit more offensive.
For instance, stealing secrets can be seen as defensive, while covertly supporting fringe political groups is squarely on the offensive side.