> A properly-stored crypto cold wallet is a safe place for pretty much any amount of money.

???

It's a safe place for the units of cryptocurrency identified by it, but those aren't money until it can be exchanged for something. Between you burying that USB key under the old oak tree and you digging it back up post-apocalypse, those units of cryptocurrency will have a very different exchange value. It's no different than tucking currency under a mattress, except that the odds of your 2023 cryptocoin being worthless by the time you pull it out is much higher than that the 20th century's global reserve currency becomes worthless. Although it might go the other way, your wallet contents don't sound like a very safe store of money at all.

Good luck trying to pay 500 employees every two weeks with a crypto cold wallet.

Well another option is a good multisig, which is also quite safe and works just fine for paying people every two weeks.

The best part about storing your crypto in a cold wallet long term is how it's worth dramatically less cash when you exchange back.

Yes, its value can change, but at least it doesn't just disappear because some other idiot made bad investments.

I don't know what you consider "long term", but if you asked anyone who stored their wealth in a cold wallet before 2020 they would be at worst, a couple % up right now. The vast majority would likely be up at least 100%.

These completely mindless dunks on crypto on HN are getting out of hand. You can say it's not scalable, or that it doesn't have a future for A, B, C reasons, or any other number of valid complaints. But instead they've devolved to the most degenerate falsehoods that can be disproven with a single look at the long term chart.