You know the joke about how when you kiss someone, you’re temporarily forming a long tube with an anus at each end? A topologist friend heard that joke and immediately offered a conjecture that that shape is topologically equivalent to the shape you’d get if you connect a mouth to an anus.

This got the party discussing if there exists a homeomorphism between making out and eating ass. I agree, you really can’t trust topologists.

I suspect the real reason for her making that conjecture was to nerd snipe a bunch of professors into discussing eating ass

But still, the two forms are the similar (same amount of holes). Do you have to view them with a color gradient to consider them different?

Topologically a human is a donut (torus).

I think humans probably have a variety of tubes at various sizes that complicate the analysis.

Fear not, someone already thought about this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egEraZP9yXQ

I got sniped by this.

Normal jeans are homotopic to a cylinder with a point removed. Leg-sewn jeans are homotopic to a torus with a point removed. Both of these can be deformation retracted to a wedge of two circles (roughly: widen the puncture as far as you can).

I miss topology.