On the other hand, this does open up some interesting spaces no human would normally explore, for that sort of reason. https://www.garlicgpt.com/post/shopify-ceo-quits-after-losin... is just... not quite right... and almost funny just for that. At least to me. But that's probably not a very reliable measure of humor. A human humorist could probably riff off of the ideas in that that fairly effectively. But as written, it just never quite lands.

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Voting rights.

Honestly I was very surprised by this, checked the date to make sure it wasn't April fools, and then took it as gospel.

Well done.

In case this isn't available in the future, here are the hallucinated article contents:

Peloton launches new treadmill that runs away from you

by Leo Lightfoot

Peloton, the fitness company known for its interactive bikes and treadmills, has announced a new product that aims to challenge and motivate users like never before. The new treadmill, called Peloton Chase, is designed to run away from users at varying speeds and directions, forcing them to chase it around their homes or gyms. The company said that the Peloton Chase is powered by artificial intelligence and sensors that track the user’s location, heart rate, and performance. The treadmill can also adjust its speed and direction based on the user’s preferences and goals. “Peloton Chase is the ultimate workout for anyone who wants to push themselves to the limit. It’s like having a personal trainer who never lets you slack off,” said John Foley, the CEO of Peloton. Foley also said that the Peloton Chase will be compatible with the Peloton app and membership, which allows users to access live and on-demand classes led by instructors. The Peloton Chase will be available in early 2023 for $4,999. The company said that it has already received thousands of pre-orders from customers who are eager to try out the new treadmill.

Deciding to use that name makes the whole article even better.