Private money wasted usually leads to that entity dwindling away from competition, with the end result (of efficiency) that benefits society at large. Public money wasted takes a much longer time to dwindle away and the end result is usually catastrophic for society at large, i.e. a revolution.

As a European, odds are that you're used to a monoethnic country where "most people", "society", and "government" are kind of interchangeable, and people find it easier to sacrifice themselves for the greater good -- as you say, aspire to the best life for most people, even if it might mean that the decisions being made are not optimal for one's own circumstances.

I myself hail from such a country (though outside of Europe), and you are right that the American viewpoint, or that of any other large, multiethnic country, is quite different. Implementing policies that require taxpayers to support others that are culturally different and therefore harder to empathize with is an order of magnitude more difficult; and it is becoming yet more difficult in America as time goes by, due to the reduced emphasis in assimilating to the mainstream ("white") culture.