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A comment on Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls. Parent comment

Re:Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illne... by colonCapitalDee on Wednesday February 22, 2023 @04:20PM (#34902954)
I tried Tinder (and Hinge) as an average looking guy and found it to be dehumanizing. I rarely got matches, the matches I got usually didn't respond to my messages, and even when they did I could tell they weren't invested in the interaction. I've got a great job, a decent face, I work out, I've got friends, family, hobbies, and passions. I genuinely like myself; I'm satisfied with my life and my personal development. But I'm not in the top n% of attractiveness, so nobody cared.

I know the solution is to focus on in-person dating and building genuine connections with people in the real world, but I've had no success with that either. I asked my friends if they knew anyone they could set me up with, but nobody did. My job and my hobbies are male dominated. Every activity in my area (a large US tech hub) that I've tried is male dominated except for yoga. Maybe things will change as I get older (I'm in my early twenties), but if things continue as they are now it will take a minor miracle for me to find a relationship before I die. I just feel so lost, I don't know what to do.

Maybe this is oversharing, but I just wanted to get it out there. Thanks for reading.

[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illne... by stuckinhell on Wednesday February 22, 2023 @04:29PM (#34903101)
Sounds like article is correct than. https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-yo...
[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illne... by orangecat on Wednesday February 22, 2023 @05:15PM (#34903729)
Maybe things will change as I get older (I'm in my early twenties)

It will. Men in their 20s are disadvantaged for the same reason that women in their 40s are: there's a lot more younger women dating older men than the reverse. The numbers will gradually shift in your favor over time.

And yeah, Tinder is usually a bad deal for everyone except the most attractive men, and women who prefer hookups to relationships.

[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illne... by OkayPhysicist on Wednesday February 22, 2023 @07:30PM (#34905164)
Specifically, there are a lot more young women willing to date older men than there are young men willing to date older women. Those that are find absolutely no problem doing so.
[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illne... by MandieD on Wednesday February 22, 2023 @06:10PM (#34904394)
Cheer up - I met the man I married via the Yahoo personals (now that shows my age!) when he was 32, and was his first serious girlfriend.

Just keep enjoying and putting effort into your work, family, friends and hobbies, and you’ll be a more attractive potential partner at 30 than the guys who mostly have their looks to offer.

And maybe try learning how to knit.

[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illne... by ryloric on Wednesday February 22, 2023 @10:47PM (#34906502)
You're very very young, you're not gonna die before you find a partner.
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Re:Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illne... by ggfhvt6yyghvhuf on Thursday February 23, 2023 @12:50AM (#34907241)
I am saying this as a now married man with a kid. Don't rush it ( unless you really, really want to ). Enjoy yourself. It is the best time of your life and we just can't tell when we are in it for some reason. Things will happen on their own. No reason to force it.
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Re:Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illne... by cubefox on Thursday February 23, 2023 @02:55PM (#34915577)
I can confirm for me (n=1) that things will not happen on their own when you are not trying to "force it". For sufficiently high attractiveness men, things probably do happen on their own, but for others they definitely don't.
[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illne... by alexpetralia on Thursday February 23, 2023 @08:53AM (#34910576)
Keep in mind the idea that you should be going on oodles of dates also comes from media and social media. Take your time.
[ Parent | on HN ]