Virginia is for lovers. DC is for haters. Don't live in the District unless you want to surround yourself with people who "throw up in [their] mouth a little" when they think about interacting with people from a different walk of life.
And for the places you are paying 200/person for dinner--people in Arlington aren't much (or at all) further than people in NE.
And you are fooling yourself if you think the people living in old town are much different than people in Logan Circle. Or people in courthouse are different than people in navy yard.
What's your definition of a "social scene"? I have lived in both and have known many people who have lived in both and you are probably the only person I've ever met (myself included) who thinks this.
A good social scene is somewhere a George Mason student, a DoD contractor, and an Afghan restaurant owner from Centerville all hang out, not somewhere two single straight white Episcopalians in suits get together after their Hill internship business day ends to congratulate themselves on how educated and evolved they are.
It isn't two far-left white dudes in suits talking politics and their Hill jobs at a ground level bar in some brutalist monstrosity while ignoring everyone around them.
Yeah there are some fun and quirky things but a lot of that was hurt by COVID too.
Virginia has a much lower violent crime rate (104 per 100000 vs 977 per 100000 in DC), lower taxes, a better social scene, and is more accessible to any of the common recreational activities (hiking in Shenandoah, camping in West Virginia, wineries, breweries, etc.).
Even if you like going out to a bar to socialize, I still think the Clarendon area on the north side of Arlington is better than literally anywhere in the District.
https://www.arlnow.com/2020/07/29/arlington-neighborhoods-to...
https://suburbansolutions.com/blog/arlington-va-crime-rate/
https://suburbansolutions.com/blog/washington-dc-crime-rate/