> "little white lies" are a relatively prevalent part of society.

And many consider them bad and cowardly.

> To pick a mundane example: if somebody asks me "how's it going", I'm almost certainly going to say "good"

That is not really white lie, more a phrase / exchange with established meaning, both sided knows the protocol.

I'm glad you're around to arbitrate what's a cowardly white lie and what's a societally normal false phrase.

You're welcome to find lying reprehensible in all cases. But "there is a universal social contract not to lie" seems clearly false.

Nonchalantly redefining lying just because everyone is vaguely aware the lie exists is silly.

You do realize you can just adjust your original absolutist position on lying = indicator of future trustworthiness by just recognizing the nuance of human communication, correct?

It's not a redefinition. Lying requires the purpose of deception. When you ask me how I'm doing as part of a greeting ritual and I say "good" as a response neither of us actually believes we're communicating anything meaningful about our states. In that circumstance it's understood and even expected that the response will be superficial. Indeed, malicious honesty could be entirely impolite. For example if you say "how are you?" and I say "well I was doing really poorly, but then I took a giant crap in the office restroom and now I feel better" and then continue with full and excruciating honesty to describe all the gory details you might not appreciate that oversharing.

Hard to draw the line though?

Situation 1: Daughter of 5 years was drawing a house and a dog. Looks terrible. Asks me how I find it. It reply "good job! what a nice house and dog!" It's a blatent lie. But obviously she'd been crushed had I replied otherwise and never drawn anything else.

Situation 2: Random acquaintance got a new hair cut. Looks terrible, asks how she looks. I reply "fits your face!" Not true, but any real criticism would have been inappropriate. We are not that close.

Situation 3: Colleague asks me casually in a team lunch setting about my favorite color. It's brown, but I don't want to say since 10 min ago the topic of nazis came up, turns out they are jewish and lost all their grandparents in concentration camps. So I reply "depends on the day". Clear lie about "something as mundane as their favourite color".

Which of these situations was an unacceptable lie and which was a "phrase / exchange with established meaning, both sided knows the protocol."

I lied the last time in September 2014. I exaggerated a man’s height. And yes, I tell everybody if it’s not going well. I don’t need to be awkward like in “The Big Bang Theory” or something either. I can be nice in every single situation without lying. Empathy and trust help a lot.

Just because something is prevalent, it doesn’t make it good, or necessary.