My several attempts to understand this have been fruitless.
This might belong on the short list of things to work around, rather than work through.
It's nobody's fault shoes are bigger than earrings except the architect/builder who didn't accommodate that in the closet. :-)
I'm a guy, and I do this, too. I have two identical pair of boots. One pair is for "clean" things, such as going to the store, the office, etc. The other pair is for "dirty" things, such as yardwork, hiking, gardening, woodworking, etc.
As my "clean" boots age and wear, I swap them out for a new pair, and the previous "clean" boots become my new "dirty" boots. It's a cycle I've been running for decades now.
The hike vs city distinction makes sense to me, regardless of gender.
Conversation from last weekend -
"I want those brown shoes. They're so nice and fit like they're made for me"
"You're shoes are overflowing your side, into mine and now into the corridor. I think you have too many."
"I don't have any that are like boots. I want brown ones for the city.I'll wear to my $event"
"You got yellow ones last month. They look like boots"
"They're for a hike. These are for the city. I don't like being told about my shoes."
And then there were more shoes.
Same night -
"I need to donate my old clothes"