Re:Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?
by astrange on Thursday January 26, 2023 @04:13PM
(#34538936)
That's how Bumble works. I don't need to use dating apps but a few coworkers tell me it works for them.
Re:Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?
by dheera on Friday January 27, 2023 @12:55PM
(#34549339)
Except for a lot of people Bumble often just doesn't show your profile to anyone you swiped right on. Might be if you don't meet conventional attractiveness thresholds. It's a waste of time if you're not some DiCaprio. I get enough matches on other apps with the same profile that it's pretty clear there's something fishy going on in their algorithm.
Yeah this is a unstable feedback loop.
Women want men to message first. So they don't message first. So a lot of men spray all the women with generic messages first (because spending even any amount of effort on a single woman is most likely going to get ignored, so men just assume 1 in 100 people respond and don't put much effort until there is at least one response from her). Women then get inboxes flooded. Women then increasingly don't message first because they get complacent with the hundreds of messages in their inbox.
The dating culture needs to change, women need to stop expecting men to lead, take some control, and pick and message people they'd like to get to know. If men start getting some nonzero amount of inbound from people who like them, they are less likely to need to "spray" the entire female population with generic messages.