What do you call your waiter when you need to get their attention?

In America we like to call people by their name, not their title, especially for a service role. Otherwise it comes off as very classist and elitist. Someone calling out "Waiter!" would come off as a bit of an asshole, to be honest.

I can’t think of a time I called my waiter. I usually just make eye contact and raise my finger in what seems like a universal “I have a question” posture.

I’m terrible with names, though.

Right, 100%.

But if they are busy, then I'll do an "Excuse me" really nicely and just loud enough so they can hear - not too loudly, and they will nod and that usually is it, and I know it to mean that they will get to me as soon as they can, they acknowledged me. And if it is super busy, I'm cool if it takes a little longer than usual. It happens. If I'm in a hurry, I'd go to McDonalds. Not really, I hate it, but that's the idea.

In America I always call them "excuse me?"

In Argentina I revert to "chico"/"chica" but ...is that offensive? Hah.

It would be in America, yeah.

I mean ... practically anything is grounds for taking offense in America. Americans are like people who were suddenly told they're allowed to be offended, and now they're on a binge of being offended by everything. I probably wouldn't yell "hey kid" to my waiter at the Waffle House (or maybe I would, if I felt like I liked the kid). But "chico" is a term of endearment. I've never heard it said without some sweetness and tenderness... it doesn't sound the same as "hey kid" delivered in a derogatory way.

I assumed you meant the direct translation of “girl”/“boy”. That would be a no-no.

Much of the western world is being trained to take offense to as much as possible.

Nah. This is like it is in political discussions or online discussions, but in real life, in real time, it is not this way.

You want to use standard and customary forms of communcation, though. You can be a little friendlier, or a little more formal, but it's never good to stray too far if meeting or talking to a person the first time.

However, if you get a bead on the person and their personality, you can adjust your style to theirs is best.

Mae eye contact, or raise your hand.

This is corporate / chain restaurant America, and you will probably find the same in a chain restaurant in Spain. Typical mozos in Spain are just chill waiters like good waiters at normal restaurants in America. Anyone who goes "My name is Bobby..." is being forced to up-sell and act like a real estate agent by the restaurant company they work for, rather than be themselves. A good waiter anywhere in the world simply listens, responds, makes a joke, and serves your food. That is as true in America as it is in Barcelona.

This is a red herring.

Everyone in business is "fake." Your auto repair person, the person at Best Buy, people at the clothing store. Of course people are "fake."

However, they are people, too. I am always SUPER SUPER nice to people who are "fake" to me in restaurants or clothing stores or wherever, and they so much appreciate it that 95% of them actually are NOT fake nice to me anymore. As I wrote elsewhere, many times I got a desserts "on the house" at restaurants when I go out in groups, because I make it so enjoyable for the wait staff.

Of COURSE it is angling for tip money. I have walked out without paying a tip for crappy service. I paid zero.

I know wait staff is "fake" nice because they want tips, but if I'm genuinely nice to them then they are "real" nice. And if you are a regular at a restaurant, and tip well, everyone will know you and you will be treated as royalty. And you usually get the same server, who knows your kids names, where you work, and actually they care about you, but yeah, the customer knows the waiter or waitress does not work for free, of course. Neither does the customer.

And, we are all fake to people who give us money. We are ALL fake to our bosses. Nobody will go to their boss and be all, "Hey you fucking moron, another stupid fucking idea you have." Even if that is what one truly thinks. We all have different masks for different occasions.

In Europe, and Catalonia maybe, tipping is not expected, so it is not the culture. If I was there, I would not tip.

But again, the whole argument is ridiculous. If the meal is $30 (or euros), and a 15% tip is $4.50, then you pay $35 (I round up). If no tipping was allowed, the restaurant raises the price to $35. It's the same exact thing. Except if you get a REAL bad waitstaff, you pay $30, because that is what the tip is for. And bad service is if they are jerks, not if they spill a glass of wine on you, which sucks but is an honest mistake that can happen to any of us. I know a waitress who did that and she knew the customer well and bought him a nice shirt for the next time he came back.

But again, you pay the exact same price either way. So not sure why people have so much vitriole against it. And, so many Americans LOVE the custom of tipping. A lot of people go back to the same restaurants and love supporting a waiter or waitress that treat them well. I love paying tips, I usually don't pay less than 25%.