> You can't just replace ingredients.

Huh? Yes you can. Replacing ingredients, adding ingredients, removing ingredients is the basis for all food culture. Recipes get passed down through generations and those variances over time are what give us distinct and unique dishes.

As my Italian friend once said:

"Yes, the thing with BBQ sauce and pineapple is tasty, but it's not a pizza!"

Your Italian friend is wrong.

This seems like such a strange fight to take on. People have been substituting ingredients in recipes since there have been recipes. Any dish becomes a lamb dish if you put lamb in it.

Interesting, we say "If my grandma had wheels she would've been a wheelbarrow!" ( "Se mia nonna aveva le ruote sarebbe una carriola" ). And there's also the version with grandad, but it's better you look that one on Google "Se mio nonno aveva..."

We (neighbours to the east) sometimes say “If my grandmother had balls, she'd be my grandpa” as a meta on the other versions of the grandma jokes, but I searched and did like the Italian grandpa version.