That's like my fair slot machine idea, a slot machine that spreads the winnings out evenly. You put in a dollar and then win 95 cents, every time; fun!

For practical implementation (less change to manage), the machine should probably take $1.01 or $1.05 and return $1.

The military base version could just take in $1 and return $1.

Military base version already for sale here: https://www.gameroomguys.com/American-Changer-AC500-Bill-Cha...

You can further optimise this by taking 1 cent or 5 cents and returning nothing. The military version is simply a button.

I was kinda aiming for "the methadone of gambling" but I think your idea fits that better than mine.

I'm offering lottery tickets for half off. They are used, but have a higher expected value than the new ones.

That's entirely unrealistic.

No slot machine pays out 95%.

95% every pull, no. But over long periods of time, that's about what most machines pay out.

I'm mostly joking, but it's closer to 90%

https://www.americancasinoguidebook.com/slot-machine-payback...

According to the Nevada Gaming Control Board, $1 slots pay out an average of 95 percent of receipts. (25 cent slots pay back an average of 93 percent, 5 cent machines: 90 percent.)

https://www.lasvegas4newbies.com/chap10-2.html

Even more horrible idea: Adjust the payout probability in proportion to the number of enemy combatants that an infantryman has killed.

At the Brainwash laundromat / cafe in San Francisco (RIP) they had a bill changer that took $20 bills and returned quarters, which was quite fun and entertaining to use, sounded spectacularly jingly, earned you lots of attention and accolades from everyone in the room, and gave reliable 1:1 payouts every time. Plus you could have food and coffee and beer and play video games while waiting for your clothes to clean and dry. That should be implemented at every military base.

Reminds me of a probably-apocryphal story I read somewhere years ago.

"I was in a casino, and saw a doddering old man sitting not at a slot machine but at the change machine. He fed in dollar after dollar, and would cheer and call out 'I won again!' every time it dispensed his quarters. It was harmless, and better he 'play' that than lose at a real slot machine, so I left him alone with his fantasy.

I saw him again the next day. I pointed at the change machine and asked why he wasn't playing that one since it was his favorite yesterday. His reply: 'It was dispensing six quarters for every dollar until they fixed it.' "

Almost every laundromat bill changer I've used accepts 20s. I always felt very self-conscious getting so much change at once, but maybe it'd be more fun if it had lights and bells on it.

I remember the opposite experience in the USA when I was a child. We needed to make an international call from a payphone. Struggling with it, eventually my dad called the operator, who said the call cost $8 or so, and we needed to put the coins in quickly. We tried several times, but my dad and I were unable to feed in 32 quarters before something on the machine timed out, and spat them all back out.

We wondered why $1 coins weren't in circulation.

Interesting. I used some kind of pre-paid international calling card for the handful of times I needed to make international payphone calls. I'm too young to have remembered a time when payphones were in constant use, but I definitely used the payphones at my high school once or twice to call my mom when my cell phone died.

FWIW, $1 coins were (and are) in circulation, but not very common and probably not accepted in payphones. The NYC train and subway ticket machines have dispensed $1 Sacagawea coins as change for as long as I've used them.

We were in some small town with a crossroads and a motel, and it was night. Eventually the motel let us use their phone.

Coming from the UK with £2 coins in widespread circulation (worth over $3 at the time) we hadn't thought to prepare for this.