> yet still turn a profit or appease investors

They are absolutely miles away from NOT turning a profit, and investors want them to make even more money.

The ultimate "functional company" that has succeeded doesn't exist, in the survival of the fittest the dysfunctional companies have risen to the top. Perhaps the academic and armchair literature of what it takes to make it are not as accurate as they like to believe they are.

Thank you, this is a really interesting framing!

What do you think the objective function might be that gets min/maxed by being dysfunctional? Something about minimizing the harm from poor decisions?

Yes once you reach a certain size, predictability >>> everything else. This trickles down, and risk aversion becomes the name of the game even at the individual level