I don't know if this is what you're asking specifically, but I use justwatch.com to see where I can watch stuff. Sometimes (it happened to me last night) one of those weird internet channels has what you're looking for...

Without telling you to pirate: What you're describing is Sonarr / Radarr with Plex / Jellyfin.

The former lets you put in a list of shows / movies you want it to download, and it'll check against public and private trackers periodically until it finds what you're after. The media you want doesn't even have to be released - an IMDB or TVDB link is enough.

The latter makes it easy to stream anywhere, download ahead of flights, and tracks watched status. Plex especially is fantastically easy for family to use.

Setup is "easy" in that it's an afternoon or less for the kind of people browsing HN, and using it is actually easy for anyone else you care to share the service with. Combined, it checks all your requirements of pulling in reviews from you and others, watched status tracking, and owned by you.

Trakt.tv lets you bookmark, rate, and keep track of the sites and movies you watch. They also have an API which is used by other apps, such as kodi.

That looks like exactly what I was thinking of, the fact that they use the verb 'scrobble' to describe this tracking suggests they're on the same wavelength as me, so thanks for the tip.