I disagree. If a man attempts to masquerade as a woman, and someone is led to believe that he is a woman, that doesn't make him a woman. It just means his pretence managed to fool someone into believing this. Behind this facade, he is still a man.

Also I'm not convinced that a man being called "ma'am" or "miss" necessarily means that the speaker thinks he's a woman, especially these days. They might be saying it because that's how you're expected to politely address men in dresses these days. Or perhaps, they are being quietly sarcastic about the whole thing.

In summary, I don't accept this Butlerian redefinition of woman, as it's incoherent with reality and relies on guessing what's going on in people's minds. The existing definition of adult human female is fine and there's no need to change it.