Wow. I haven't researched moving costs at all, but I'd probably buy all new stuff and still save money at those prices.

Except that the expenses are all made up. I have moved my family for about 4K

These numbers are from /dev/urandom or perhaps /dev/null, or maybe they hired white-glove movers and car transporters and flew first class to their destination or something. I moved Chicago to Seattle for like $2-3k all-in (counting plane tickets) in 2017, leaving only couches and beds behind (just wasn't worth bothering to move the cheap Ikea-grade stuff I had). Seattle-Vancouver in 2018 and, a year later, back, were each ~$1-2k all-in by U-Haul and elbow grease, discarding almost nothing either direction.

Moving isn't cheap, but on even relatively junior tech salaries, provided some savings or access to credit, it's truly not a life-altering event the way $40k would be.

Like everything else, moving has gotten more expensive. But I did manage in June of 2022 manage to move from Boston to outside Atlanta for maybe $2500 -$3000 between the hotels, food, shipping my stuff down, gas, etc

That's still considered a luxury moving experience by most. Most people rent a U-Haul for a few hundred dollars and have maybe a few hundred more dollars in gas and hotels.

If you’re in the position to do the work yourself, then yeah, it can be done cheaper. Just like anything is cheap if you do it yourself.

But it’s easier said than done for those with a sizable family, more possessions than fits in 26’ truck, a lack of time, or lack physical strength.

If you hire someone to do it, it’s expensive.

Moving a true household worth of stuff, good quality furniture, then paying people a living wage who won't treat your stuff like ikea garbage, yeah it's very expensive. My wife got a relocation package that paid for the movers and packing, car shipping, plus $20k cash on top for incidentals, and we burnt through every dollar. I have no idea what the company paid Allied to pack and move all our stuff but it probably wasn't cheap. $40k seems very realistic.

In comparison I moved Dallas to SF as a single guy in a 26' uhaul truck and I think my costs all-in were $5000 for truck/gas/incidentals plus another $5000 for first and last months rent, utility deposits and all the random stuff that comes with relocation. So $10k to move all-in as a single guy.

> Actually, it's how many of the leases I've had worked, and I've lived in dozens of states.

In the majority of states, the landlord has a duty to mitigate losses, which means you are only on the hook as long as the landlord is unable, making a reasonable, good-faith effort, to rent the unit.

And usually any part of a deposit not used to pay for damages beyond nornal wear and tear or rent for which the tenant was legally liable must be returned.

(The lease may assert something else, but where these laws are in place such terms have no legal effect.)

Funnily enough, lots of folks have moved states. I moved my family from Washington to California.

Lease - 2K. 3rd party Furniture transport - 2K. 10 day hotel stay 1.5K. 5.5K total cost.

You have already admitted that the 40K was double what it would have supposedly cost your friend. Time for you to divide it by a further 50%. Also, the statement that you would have to pay out your entire lease cost is, frankly speaking, ridiculous.

Congratulations on having signed leases in dozens of states. How many dozen states would that be? 2 dozen? 3 dozen?

$150/night is about as cheap as you'll find in the Bay Area. It'll be too small for a family, probably in a shitty area. A few years ago you might've been able to swing that, but now? No.

I routinely travel to South Bay and 150/night is absolutely a reasonable estimate for a hotel.

Sure you can find hotel rooms for $150/night, but for moving a family? As I said they're going to be too small or in too rough of a neighborhood. For instance the Extended Stay in San Rafael starts around $120/night after all the taxes and fees. It's also downwind of a sewage treatment plant, right next to 580, and in a fairly industrial area.

At that price point in the city you've got options with, e.g. Travelodge, and you can choose between being right next to the freeway or in the middle of the meth epidemic. For a single occupancy room $150 would potentially get you something comfortable, but for moving a family? Not so much.

When you are moving, you don't have to stay bang in the center of bay area. You can stay in Dublin or Morgan Hill while you look for a year long lease in the bay. Also, I moved 10 years ago. 20K to move is an absurd number that the poster pulled out of his ass, along with "living in dozens of states".

Btw, I did manage to find a 180$ per night deal in the bay area at Hyatt house, complete with a kitchenette and utensils recently for a friend.

You could stay in Fresno too, but the point is staying in a hotel in the Bay Area is expensive. A decade ago things were significantly less expensive out here.