They're learning how to deal with adversity created by circumstances beyond their control.
there is a reference to this in TFA, it's a real phenomenon
That is quite literally the point of being a parent. They're children. They're not supposed to be raised by other children or by social media personalities they want to be like, but by you.
If that means having to be the bad and unfun parent who they get mad at because they can't get to do the thing everyone else is doing that's the job. Good parents give children values that last a lifetime even if the kid doesn't understand it or like it.
The chat bubble thing is a reference to a surprisingly widespread clash between kids with iphones and kids with android phones (https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-apples-imessage-is-winning-...)
But they aren't standing up for themselves. They're standing up for decisions forced on them by their parents.
> make friends that don't care about blue chat bubbles or fashionable clothes is necessary
It has nothing to do with being cool (and I've never heard of anyone referencing blue chat bubbles that wasn't using it derogatorily like you are). It's about not being unable to communicate with people. Like, they may have friends who want to invite them to a party but don't because they put the event on (whatever app is cool). Your kids don't see it and therefore don't go to an event everyone wanted them to go to.