I think it depends on how long you've been together. If you're a professional, you should be able to explain the fundamentals quite easily to anyone, including your spouse. If you have a healthy relationship I think over a long enough time span you'll eventually pick it up just from active listening and asking questions to fill in the gaps when your significant other needs to vent their frustrations or share their excitements.

My wife's a professional geologist and we've been together about 8 years. I took a single introductory geology course in university but nowadays I've got a pretty solid understanding of the subject (I can hold my own conversationally with PhD geologists at her work events and such) and likewise, while my wife has never written a program or script once in her life, she understands quite a bit about the topic just by being married to me for so long now (she's often my rubber duck at home: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging).

That said, we have a 1 year old child now. Careers aren't usually a topic that crops up around the house lately.

I agree. Expanding your horizons is great, and if you get to do it with a loved one, that's even better, but it's not a necessary part of every relationship. I've dated guys who knew nothing about programming, and I wouldn't be ashamed to take them to company parties to mingle with my fellow programmers, and I don't look down on spouses I meet who don't program either, they're often interesting in a different way.

EDIT: Oops, typo.

I, too, agree... for me, at least, I don't care that my wife really understands what I do (although she gets it to a point). For me the important thing is that she isn't bored by me talking about it :)

That is to say, while she doesn't really understand it, she will let me talk/vent about it as much as I need to. Just as I don't really understand what she does, but I'm more than happy for her to talk about it.

I do find it a little bit odd, though. I guess some careers aren't that interesting or you don't spend that much time thinking about them at home so there isn't any reason to share it with your SO.

But my husband is an academic, so his academic side is "always on," so to speak. I feel like some coders are like that too. If you're the kind that's always thinking about your work I think it would we weird if you don't share that with your wife. Last night before bed I read him a paper he needed to read. Granted, I think I only read the abstract before falling asleep, but I like that we share things with each other.

That about... what if he was a spy? You kind of have to leave well enough alone at that point.

I do not have a family but I have yet to be a in a good relationship with a girl that didn't understand (or cared enough to try) what I do. I also have to be highly interested in what she's passionate about.

I'm not that 40-hours type of guy (right, no family). Programming & stuff is my job but also one of my hobbies – that probably makes it far more important for me than non-passionate geeks.

Make sure not to confuse "non-passionate" geeks with those who have multiple interests.

Keep an open mind to other things besides "programming & stuff".