It will get easier. Six and a half years for me, after almost ten of marriage. I wasn't the main meal preparer, but everything about mealtime took a different tack, including going out and experiencing new things in life. I felt like half of a team tackling the world. Eventually I moved to the mindset that the number one thing she would have wanted for me was to keep adventuring and getting out there, and I took to it quickly. Just as we grew to a be a team, I grew for a while to be solo, and then eventually grew to be a team with someone else. Our hearts heal and our patterns can change.