I was bullied intensely in the public schools. My parents were able to get me into a private school for just one year and the difference was night and day. For the first time in my life I was able to go to school and get respect. They sent me back to the public schools for the fourth grade and it was war all the time all over again.

Someone I know used to brag about the stunt he pulled to embarrass the private high school he went to and I shut him up pretty harshly about it because I had suffered so much in the public schools and how I would have appreciated the privilege that he got more than he did.

Of course he had his own problems including a struggle with alcoholism, getting beaten up by the cops, etc. and today he is a tenant and I am his landlord so it's not like I didn't catch some breaks.

I had the an opposite experience. I had a rich kid pull a knife to my throat in a fancy private school, the fanciest of my city, which is why my parents got me in. And he went by with a slap in the hand. I got kicked out of it because after several years I became confrontational to the teachers, which is what mattered to them, and went to a public school, where things went mostly fine. Kids could still be mean, but they were not untouchable because pedigree, so things were more reigned in, and kids were more inclusive and less worried about in/out group. Then came back to a different private school, and even if it didn’t get to the same awfulness level because I was more on the defensive, it was once again the same casual ostracism.

My private school years made it very clear to me that I wasn't supposed to excel because of my background. I was there to conform to the rigid boarding master rules, write maths with a fountain pen (excruciating for a left-hander), and generally know that I did not belong.

I wasn't bullied by the other students, but I witnessed an incredible amount of racism to other students that was largely whistled under the carpet. The "vote Tory" banners under the school entrance every election day, the sheer theft of the school administration when it came to school uniforms, stationary, and simple things like paper.

And then the elitism. They tell you that you're special to be there, next world leaders in politics or industry or what have you. Of course, they don't mean you - they mean the hand-selected elites that served as prefects or head boys and other from purer backgrounds with the same grades as yours.

Uni was a breath of fresh air, like finally stepping out of the shadow of someone else's ego and never realising it until that moment.

> Though I doubt there is less bullying in private schools

Why wouldn't there be? Wouldn't safe, comfortable kids have less to win and more to lose from aggression?

Kids don't bully because they're poor. They bully because the other kid is different (e.g. jocks vs geeks), they bully to gain peer points, and for many other reasons, that are orthogonal to public vs privaye, or poor vs rich kid.

As for taking to others bad home experiences, like mimicking an abusive parent, that can happen to rich as well as to poor kids...

Yes, of course bullying will happen in better off schools as well. I just think there will be less of it, since some bullying probably happens because it's more "reasonable" to be a bully when your circumstances are worse.