Sure, I agree. There is a lot of good in my life.
What seems to cause dissonance is how my life still feels like shit, despite all those good things. The answer I most often hear to this is "well, if you practiced more gratitude, you'd appreciate those things" - which feels like the old religious cliche of "if God doesn't help you, you aren't praying/believing enough".
But to ask a concrete question - how would you describe the "activity" of practicing gratitude to, say, a child who's never heard of such a phrase? Is it just the act of pointing out "good" things about your life to yourself, or is there anything more to it?
In an ELI5-type answer: "Practicing" gratitude involves actively noticing your feelings of appreciation for something good in your life. That something good may be a meal, a relationship, overcoming an challenge, etc.
For an adult beginner a gratitude journal is a great place to start! You can purchase one, like the "6-Minute Journal" or you can grab a blank piece of paper and pick a prompt from this pdf[1]. Pick a prompt: "Something beautiful I saw today..." "A fun experience I had..." "Someone I admire.." and spend a few minutes writing about that. Write in your journal 2-3 times a week. That's it!
[1]: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/gratitude-journal
I didn't come up with this and obviously cannot say if it would work for you. Look up "Three Good Things" if you're curious about the theory.
There are lots of definitions of gratitude, some focus on the social aspect, others the moral aspect[1], but I have found keeping a gratitude journal to be helpful in managing my depression and anxiety, by teaching me that "happiness" and "contentment" are just as valid as "unhappiness" or "sadness".
I understand the feeling of "phoniness" you might feel practicing it, but it gets easier over time. Sometimes I'm grateful my partner made me a coffee. Or I'm grateful that a friend called to check in with me, when I was unwell. Sometimes I'm grateful my pull request was merged. It's about little things.
It's worth mentioning: being healthy, having a family, a high-paying, stable job is not "ordinary bullshit" for many people. I say this not to guilt you into being grateful, but to remind you that you seem to have a lot of goodness in your life.
[1]: https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/