People with a hard time to be empathetic (alternatively let's call it theory of mind deficiency) or who have trouble with emotional regulation tend to develop coping mechanisms, for example a typical one is that they start to simply ignore feelings of others in most situations, don't mention feelings in communications, etc.

Does this absolve them of hurting others? Of course not really, but it might help others understand why it's hard to get people with such defenses to even acknowledge that their communication can be hurtful, etc.