for example you've got lots of people who would fall under the umbrella of software development that mostly just do web design and WordPress, they're about the least engineer-type people you can have.
You're describing many of those who are what we would call "non-normative", if you will. aspergers, autism, and the like. Yes, it's statistically understood those who choose this career are more likely to fall into that category.
So what's really being said here is that women are being chased out of well paying STEM field because they're too judgemental to deal with those who are non-normative.
Is that really the fault of men, or maybe we should blame these self-same non-normative folks?
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Can you imagine if someone were to claim the reason so many men choose not to go into nursing is because of the smell that happens roughly once/month?
Think about why one is acceptable and the other is not.
IME doing this, many are happy with no regrets, but all have truly horrific stories to tell.
Unless the situation is different for women in law, or women in medicine, it still does not explain the lack of women in CS.
Those darned smelly CS grads with their non-matching clothes, if not for them more women would be in CS!