Re:Ask HN: How to deal with an a$$hole colleague?
by spookierookie on Friday October 28, 2022 @01:33PM
(#33374558)
>> It takes a gigantic amount of humility to do this based upon the story so far,
Been there, done that. Now I'm at the stage where something in me throws up at every interaction with said person.
>> will eventually result in other participants adopting a foul mood regarding the person doing the lashing
This has happened as well. But like I said the one person that is _his_damned_job_ to fix this cannot or will not do anything.
Re:Ask HN: How to deal with an a$$hole colleague?
by incomingpain on Friday October 28, 2022 @01:34PM
(#33374570)
It is an old and a true maxim, that a "drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall." So with men. If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great highroad to his reason, and which, when once gained, you will find but little trouble in convincing his judgment of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause really be a just one.
-Abe Lincoln.
I recommend this strongly (and in a non-manipulative way too). If you have a 1:1 call with someone and open with a few compliments, it can do wonders. It takes a gigantic amount of humility to do this based upon the story so far, but if you can stay focused on the big picture it will usually work out better for everyone. Think: Take extra shit today and maybe you wind up being this person's boss sooner rather than later.
Be nice, especially when it is undeserved. This is the thing people expect the least and will give you an advantage. In a group setting, taking your 50 lashes with a cheery disposition will eventually result in other participants adopting a foul mood regarding the person doing the lashing.