I don't recommend either, and it's still a code smell, but with clear definitions they can work.
Btw some of the confusion might be what I mean by shared database. I didn't mean two services sharing a limited set of tables, using the database as a rabbitmq replacement. I meant sharing the backing database of the microservices. It sounds like we probably agree I just wasn't very clear about what I meant by sharing a database.
(Ironically I am literally using a database as a queue to share data between two services we are running in prod. I don't think of it as a microservice because it's not separate teams, it just because our monolith is hosted on a platform that doesn't support certain libraries so we had to role those libraries onto a separate platform that does support them.)
Using a shared database allows you to punt a lot of that complexity to a system that's been specifically designed for it, and working well for probably 20+ years.
Too many people think microservices don't have their own, severe, downsides. The likes of netflix, google, et al, can afford to pay people whose entire job is to manage the complexities of these approaches that flat don't exist in other scenarios.
But it's a hell of a lot simpler to use a single database if you can get away with it.