Re:Ask HN: How to deal with regret of not having kids
by maerF0x0 on Wednesday October 19, 2022 @10:23AM
(#33262648)
> A lot has changed over the last 20 years for late births.
There's still a lot of risks, particularly of disappointment, but also massively elevated risk of gestational diabetes and Down syndrome.
Re:Ask HN: How to deal with regret of not having kids
by nostromo123 on Thursday October 20, 2022 @06:01AM
(#33272580)
Everything worth having in life involves some risk - you could have a heart attack or a stroke the next minute, your wife/husband could cheat on you/leave you, the company you work for could implode and go bankrupt, and so on.
What about the risk of forever regretting that you didn't even try? Everyone has to decide for themselves what level of risk they are ok with (I'm not going to do base jumping, for instance :D), but if you want a "safe" life, you have to stay indoors, live like a hermit, and forego all human contact ;)
> It's not too late.
I second that. A (male) friend of mine was 40 when they had their first child and now they have three.
More importantly: 39 is probably not too late biologically for your partner. A lot has changed over the last 20 years for late births.
Find a doctor who's competent and supportive to help you along, you're not the first people to have children at that age.
Turn your regret into a motivator. I've done a lot of different and exciting things in my life, I've lived on three different continents, worked with some of the smartest and most renowned people in their fields, and yet nothing beats the experience of loving your children.
Good luck.