Maybe "communicating with your boss" is a skill folks need to be taught.
Uncomfortable, scary, yup, but necessary.
Re:Tell HN: Beware 'Ungrowth' in Your Job
by wccrawford on Tuesday October 18, 2022 @11:49AM
(#33249252)
Yup, and IMO definitely less scary than finding and starting an entirely new job.
Re:Tell HN: Beware 'Ungrowth' in Your Job
by mooreds on Tuesday October 18, 2022 @12:40PM
(#33250167)
Would love to read an article on this! Do you have any reading to recommend?
Re:Tell HN: Beware 'Ungrowth' in Your Job
by wing-_-nuts on Tuesday October 18, 2022 @11:01AM
(#33248298)
>From this perspective, it's a lot easier to just pack it in, write off the boss and company, and find a new job. It's less satisfying, to be sure, but less terrifying.
This exactly. I've tried having 'difficult' conversations with my boss only to wind up on their bad list.
Thankfully I'm at a company with a strong culture now and I'm much more financially independent than when I was younger.
Re:Tell HN: Beware 'Ungrowth' in Your Job
by ryandrake on Tuesday October 18, 2022 @11:26AM
(#33248790)
For way too many (bad) managers, deliberately initiating a 1:1 with them can feel like calling the police in the USA. You have to really consider your options, because you have no idea what the police are going to do. They might be cool, or they might shoot your dog. They might arrest the wrong person, or they might even ignore the call. They might get pissed at you and start harassing you every time they're in your neighborhood. Obviously with your manager, nobody is going to get shot, but I've had bosses that were so unpredictable that you wouldn't voluntarily risk talking to them, because who knows how you might come out of the conversation: Your problem might end up worse, you might end up with more (or less) job responsibilities, you might get on their "bad list" (or even their "good list"), you might get fired. You never know ahead of time.
Re:Tell HN: Beware 'Ungrowth' in Your Job
by orestarod on Wednesday October 19, 2022 @01:25PM
(#33265262)
If you feel like that for your boss, that's reason enough to leave already.
Re:Tell HN: Beware 'Ungrowth' in Your Job
by ryandrake on Thursday October 20, 2022 @12:08AM
(#33270727)
Oh man, I had one whose mood was based on the stock market. When the market was up, have a 1:1 with him, as he'd praise you, give you a little time off, maybe even a little bonus just because. When the market was down, he was on the warpath and nothing you did was good enough. I got fired on the day of a particularly steep NASDAQ drop.
Re:Tell HN: Beware 'Ungrowth' in Your Job
by jcadam on Tuesday October 18, 2022 @11:32AM
(#33248886)
> You don't know how they will react, whether you'll be forced off interesting projects, put at the top of the layoff list, or similar.
Yep, this has happened to me. So if I'm unhappy, I usually just start sending my resume out. I never ask for anything (big) from my boss unless I have an offer in-hand.
Sure, but why? Why wouldn't you have a direct, honest conversation with your manager?
I'll tell you why.
Because it can be terrifying.
You don't know how they will react, whether you'll be forced off interesting projects, put at the top of the layoff list, or similar. You can watch how they handle other situations and get an inkling, but you don't know.
Good bosses won't react like that and there are many good bosses out there who want you to grow and will work with you to achieve your goals. But there are plenty of bad bosses too.
From this perspective, it's a lot easier to just pack it in, write off the boss and company, and find a new job. It's less satisfying, to be sure, but less terrifying.
It's taken me a long time to realize how important it is to have a boss you can have a direct conversation with. It's also a factor of my experience and knowledge of my self-worth too.
If I were a new developer in my first job, it'd be a lot harder to have a tough conversation with my boss, because my alternatives would be fewer.