Right. What I’ve learned is that if they aren’t interested in having a conversation with you the day you match (back and forth, chatting for an hour or two) then it’s not going to go anywhere. If they’re not trying to meet up after that first conversation, it’s not going to go anywhere. If they don’t message back within a few hours of the first date, it’s not going to go anywhere.
Chatting for a few days before asking them out isn’t wrong - but you can get to the same natural conclusion much quicker and with less pain by trying to have a good conversation right away and then asking them out the next day.
As for fearing rejection - I managed that by putting myself in the position of being the rejector. I showed up to each first date looking for problems, not trying to see if things could work. If I didn’t feel like there was potential I’d reject them an hour or two after the date ended. If you are not being as picky as they are then you could give off the impression that you have low standards. What person wants to feel like they’ve been picked for their appearance alone?
Chatting for a few days before asking them out isn’t wrong - but you can get to the same natural conclusion much quicker and with less pain by trying to have a good conversation right away and then asking them out the next day.
As for fearing rejection - I managed that by putting myself in the position of being the rejector. I showed up to each first date looking for problems, not trying to see if things could work. If I didn’t feel like there was potential I’d reject them an hour or two after the date ended. If you are not being as picky as they are then you could give off the impression that you have low standards. What person wants to feel like they’ve been picked for their appearance alone?